We live in a world where we can get the internet to tell us anything that we want to hear. Google a phrase and you will surely find the answer you’re looking for, whether it is “correct” or not. You can find pages that tell you to do juice cleanses and pages that tell you not to. Pages that say to sleep with your baby or pages that tell you teaching independent sleep habits can be the greatest gift you can give them. You should only eat vegetables. You should only eat meat. You shouldn’t eat red meat. You should eat red meat. Goji berries are super-foods. There’s no such thing as super-foods. Take this supplement. You don’t need supplements. Sound familiar?
It’s easy to be very mislead and confused about a lot of things. I think back to when I was born (1984) and that my parents had no access to the internet – for anything. My mom had to use her gut intuition for basically everything and lean into what she thought was best for me/her/us. Alternatively, she could ask a friend or a relative for their input IF she wanted it.
We are now in a time with unlimited access to information – while it can be helpful for certain things, it can also be a distraction from yourself, your own beliefs and ultimately what your desired outcome is.
I personally think that we are in a place where people lean into themselves less than ever. It’s become hard to make decisions without “checking” what the norm or acceptable behaviour is in this area before committing. I know this because people are doing things that actually aren’t working for them but they’ve told themselves that this is “the way” that people are doing it these days.
Two years ago, I wrote in my little journal that I was worried that I hadn’t made Christmas special enough for our daughter, Paxton. What really happened is that I felt great leading up to the 23rd and then looked at social media that night. I saw matching pajama photos, matching stocking photos, huge group dinners with lots of kiddos, baking traditions, art traditions, and the list went on. It left me feeling that what I had planned wasn’t enough. It was an awful feeling that wasn’t even based on reality.
The following year, I didn’t change the things we had planned. I stopped looking at what others had planned and it’s been a blissful experience in this area ever since. I feel great about my plans and decisions and I don’t want to compare them to anyone else’s. This is only holiday traditions, but the truth is that this feeling and comparison can happen A LOT.
With the holidays and a new year around the corner, this is a fantastic time to get back to thinking FOR YOURSELF FIRST. What makes sense for YOU? Even if 4 out of your 6 of your friends do it/did it differently, what works for YOU?
Below is the image I always see in my mind when I refer to this concept. What is important to YOU? What makes YOU happy? These are the feelings that we need to lean into. Find real people living the way that makes sense to you and ask them things when you want input. Otherwise, put your blinders on, your chin up and keep at it. If it works for you, then it works. Period.
Blinders, or blinkers, are small plastic or leather cups used to restrict how much a horse can see. They can help horses stay calm, focus on their jobs, and can prevent horses from spooking.
